When I was small I thought of God, the Father, as an old man with a white beard in heaven. I had no personal connection with Him. No personal feelings toward Him. I was very removed from Him and He from me.
When I was a little older, I saw this Man with the white beard as a judge who tests people, as Moses had, rather than as an energy of Unconditional Love. The Bible appeared to me to be focused more around Doing than around Being. Where were the stories of people inspired to carry the energy of God, the Father, within?
I have always worked very, very hard. When I was little my parents told me that life would be hard for me and I would need a lot of help. The energy of Doing. I lived my life this way until I can into my Spiritual Awakening. At that point, I came to know the Divine Mother. Then my life changed completely. I moved into the realm of Intention to bring my Divinity into my Humanity. I knew there was something else going on a Bigger Picture of my life. I was determined to find it to live it.
I came to Love the energy of the Divine Mother-Creation awaiting expression. The Divine Mother is the inspiration that allows the Energy of the Divine Father to manifest. It is the saucer which holds the cup. It is the flower from which the bee takes its nourishment. I learned "to Hold" Love, which is present all the time. I learned "To Be". I learned to "Show Up and Be Lovingly Present".
This was a big shift from the old paradigm of Doing which I had learned from my family. Doing at the level of ego was filled with attachment to the results and thus disappointment. It was filled with a sense of urgency, judgment, and polarities of right and wrong. There was always a sense of lack, of having been lucky if I succeeded. It fed the sense of perfectionism that I learned in my family.
Working in Consciousness, I fell more deeply in Love with the energy of the Divine Mother. I experienced a release in my perfectionism and in my sense of urgency stemming from Doing. I began to surrender my little will to Divine Will, preparing the way for the energy of the Divine Father. This was possible because I began to trust the Love, to trust the Divine Order in all things, to Trust that Everything is Already Accomplished, I simply bring my Consciousness to it.
It was then that my experience of Doing in the world shifted because the source of the Doing had shifted. The source of all my Doing became Love. Receiving inspiration, Love, and support from the energy of the Divine Mother, I stepped forward to actively manifest the Divine Father energy.
As Divine Will became known to me, I set my Intention to bring my Divinity into my Humanity. I held to it with steadfastness, courage, trust, and faith that I had never known at the level of personal will.
I fell in Love with the Divine Father energy. The Divine Father is the source of my thoughts, actions, and feelings. I was able to access and operate from the Truth of my Being. Boundless creativity began to flow through me. I began to inspire myself, rather than seeking inspiration from outside. I felt I was operating from a base of strength, rather than of lack. I began to trust myself and my own creative process. I began to surrender to whatever flowed through me, trusting in the inherent Love at its source. I began to surrender attachment to results. Being in the energy of the Divine Mother. Living in the energy of the Divine Father. Calling the Divine Father to action within me. I learned to have the patience and the persistence to do whatever it takes to hold the space of Love for myself and others. I have learned flexibility over perfectionism. I have learned to take responsibility for The Dance I create in my life. I have learned that I am the Creator of all I manifest. This is accomplished through the Divine Father within me.
Feeling immense gratitude for my life experience with the Divine Father, I reflect back on how I came to this place. I see that the God Will within me has been strong. My Soul held the vision for me and has guided me. My experience as a child was one of feeling very depressed and powerless. I had no idea who I was. I was willful. This was the only way I felt I could have any sense of control over my life. I know I created my family to experience the polarity of little self/personal will vs. Soul/Divine Will. I had to experience my personal will to the fullest to see that it was not enough.
I feel so blessed to be here, supported by the energy of the Divine Mother, living the creative flow of my life as the Divine Father. My life is truly a Dance. Would you like to dance with me????
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