I remember the words of a teacher who said, "You are afraid to really get it, because you will have to face the realization that there is only You." The fear of being 'alone in the universe', rather than 'all one in the universe' arises out of the ego's need to create separation through the belief that others exist outside of one's self. When I really get that I am God, I create All That Is, nothing is outside of me, and I am at the center of all forms, will I even want to stay here on earth anymore? Where will the drama be? Will it be entertaining dancing with myself? The great Hindu mystic, Sri Ramakrishna, was asked why he worshiped the Divine Mother Kali with songs of praise and devotional rituals when he clearly taught that She was within him, that they were One. He said that it gave him pleasure and joy to 'pretend' that they were in this relationship of Mother and Child, or in the relationship of lovers. Separation, for Ramakrishna, was no longer a source of suffering, but of supreme bliss, divine romance.
When I really get it, I will never forget who I am as Divine Consciousness - even when I am feeling my human emotions. I will be in the eternal place of inner sovereignty and Self-Love, devoted fully to the Authentic Voice within. I will no longer betray my Inner Truth to please another because that pattern comes from needing to feel secure through external approval, love, acceptance, or even financial reward. When I really get it, I'll love moment by moment sourcing from Christ Consciousness, my Heart knowing that this is my true security and source of Love. I will not, however, be cut off from others in an ivory tower, so evolved that others won't be able to relate to me, nor I to them. For I will be so flexible and compassionate that I will be able to be with all Beings wherever they are. I hope some will want to journey with me into deep intimacy, founded on autonomy, not co-dependence and fear. I will be as Conscious in my humanity as I am in my Divinity. I don't believe my humanity will ever vanish while I remain in human form. I will have emotions and physical needs and preferences, but I will not judge myself as weak, or unenlightened if I feel that I need a hug, or if my body gets the flu. I will be in a state of listening to all of the multi-dimensional parts of myself, hearing the symphonic nature of my Being, listening for any instruments that may be out-of-tune, and gently inviting them back into the harmonious whole.
When I really get it, I will live in complete self-trust and faith, and so will be able to Trust and Love others freely. I will be able to receive Love in all forms of expression and from all sources. On a deep level I will know that I, as God, am loving myself, through All That Is - from my most beloved friends, to the earth, the animals, the trees, and all creation. I will get that I create my reality, my life - and I will choose to create more and more Love. I will live in surrender to the call of Consciousness. I will show up as Love radiating joy, not because of anything I do, but because that is my true nature. Can I stand being joyful all the time? To feel and be joy in the midst of grief, anger, fear - to never completely forget that I am God, even as my humanity weeps? It is what I have longed for, but not fully believed possible.
Perhaps being in that constant joy of Soul will change my humanity so profoundly that the emotions which storm through my body will no longer be as personal, nor as raw. I find great beauty in my human feelings and in my shadow because they have helped crack open my Heart to be able to give and receive the Love that I am. A Zen teacher said, "When you can see as much beauty in a garbage heap as in a garden, you have really gotten it." Perceiving the "Is-ness" is profound acceptance. Behind everything is nothing. Behind everything is everything. When I really get it, I will no longer wonder if I really have it. I will live in full acceptance of all that I am. I will be radiant, lovingly harmless, radically honest, outrageously creative, joyfully embracing the miracle of each breath. I get it. Now.
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